Pentacostal Pain

I've recently started working at the Starbucks next to the convention center downtown. This can be awesome (like the free concert tickets I got a couple weekends ago) or it can mean that all of the Pentacosts from California are meeting at the Selland Arena and engaging in their crazy talk. I'm sorry but speaking in tongues is just insane. But this experience with the Pentacosts has taught me that there are more things about them that are crazy other than religion:
1) Their apparent caffeine addiction. I've never seen so many people in desperate need for espresso, and our usual clientel is lawyers! And they start them young, I had an 8 year old yesterday order a triple (that means 3 shots of espresso) grande (medium) mocha (chocolate).
2) The most slutty fully clothed people. They have to be covered, from neck to mid-calf. Yet somehow they have managed to slut even that up. Super tight belts, 6 inch red stiletto heals, makeup gun set to whore...I'm impressed.
3) The biggest buns I've ever seen. So part of the deal is they can't cut their hair, I think it has to do with a vanity thing (anyone Pentacostal experts, please correct me if I'm wrong). Instead they create hairdos that even Miss Texas would be ashamed to wear.

This is an actual picture that I sneakily took at starbucks. (Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to not make it sideways)

So what have I learned from my time serving the Pentacosts? There are crazier religions than my own. Thank God!